


the forest tells nothing but the truth

by Elysabeth



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Animal spirits, City Boy Jean, Forest Creature Eren, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), agender Eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-06-08 09:11:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6848419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elysabeth/pseuds/Elysabeth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a beast in the woods, who is not what it seems. Stronger than it looks, softer than it believes.</p><p>And Jean falls in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the woods have secrets

**Author's Note:**

> for my friend [Jess!!!](http://generationofskittles.tumblr.com)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: short description of choking at the end, nothing graphic

Jean was, undoubtedly, a city boy, and he was, additionally, lost.

He’d lived in cities all his life, and he had always loved it. He liked being one among so many others, a part of the crowd. In cities, he wasn’t Jean. He was the guy on his phone that you saw distractedly while waiting for the bus. The attractive boy on the other side of rails, or the ugly one you saw while walking to college. He’d always felt at home in cities, between the tall buildings, the distant hums of traffic in the background, the constant buzz of life.

Here, in this forest, he was literally and figuratively lost.

The trees were tall, and the wind made leaves flutter. The sun was peeking through the branches. It was pretty, Jean figured, but right now, he just wanted to go home.

His mother had decided two weeks ago that Jean needed to feel closer to his roots. Hence, a trip to France in the countryside, to see a great-aunt he’d barely even known existed.

Obviously, it had rained the last three days, so Jean had decided to go walk outside for a bit. Entering the forest had not been his finest idea.

The forest couldn’t be that big. If he went straight, he would hopefully end up somewhere. With cellphone signal. That was the goal.

But the woods were making him uncomfortable. He could feel the back of his neck prickling, as if someone was watching him. The trees almost seemed to whisper around him, and wasn’t that a comforting thought…

He continued walking for a bit, ignoring the chill down his spine telling him you shouldn’t be here.  
He maybe should have listened, because he tripped.

He fell, knocking his elbow on a rock, and rolled down the hill. The twigs on the floor hurt him, a stone cut him, and he prayed that he wouldn’t hit a tree.

He didn’t and finished on his back in a strange clearing, looking at parts of the sky.

He painfully sat up, wincing as he did. He did not expect what he saw.

In front of him, was standing a very naked person.

They were beautiful, in a feral sort of way. They seemed ready to bolt at any moment. Their skin was a dark amber, and Jean distantly thought of these old whiskeys that seemed to call for you. _Drink me_ , they said, _enjoy me_. They were staring intensely at him, their eyes a warm but dangerous gold, like the soft rising sun that was playful in the morning and burning by noon. Their hair was brown and messily held in a braid falling down their back. Wild strands had escaped, and the ensemble was full of flowers.

Jean could see, because of the nakedness, that it was a boy’s body. Apart from the obvious, their broad shoulders and the sharp, defiant angle of their jaw were a dead giveaway. Even so, Jean could not think of them as other than a they. The idea of genders felt too constraining for this creature. They were more, or maybe just _other_.

The trees seemed to whisper louder in their presence, acknowledging them.

His heart was pounding in his chest. He was paralyzed with fear. He thought this was how you probably felt in front of a powerful beast, like a tiger or a bear. You life was at its mercy, and you just had to pray that you didn’t look too appetizing.

They took a step toward him, elegant and devoid of sound, and Jean scrambled back, leaves cracking under him.

“Are you gonna kill me?” He blurted out.

They tilted their head to the side. “I won’t.”

Their voice sounded human, normal. Jean didn’t know what he expected, but he was still surprised.

They took another step and Jean pushed himself back instinctively. His back hit a tree.

“You could be lying.”

“I am not lying,” they said, frowning, as if the concept itself of lies was foreign to them.

They walked slowly toward him, and Jean frantically searched for something he could use as a weapon. He didn’t find anything and stared fearfully as they came closer.

They sat crossed legs a meter away from him, their hands holding their feet. “What’s your name?”

“Why do you want it?” He asked, suspicious.

They raised an eyebrow. “I can call you ‘human’ if you prefer.”

“Fine. I’m Jean,” he grumbled.

“Eren,” they said, and they smiled, light and warm, but the unnatural sharpness of their teeth did not put Jean at ease. “I was sleeping. You woke me up.”

“Are you going you to send me on a quest where I need to kill a bad guy and bring back a strange artefact?”

Eren grinned, revealing their pointy canines. “Why would I send you when I can do it just fine myself?”

“Oh, okay,” Jean breathed, relieved. “Wait, does that mean you are not going to kill me if I refuse?”

Eren shook his head and crawled towards him. Jean tried very hard not to stare, fixing his gaze to Eren’s nose. Until it happened to be too close, almost pressed to his own nose, and Eren’s face a few centimeters from his own.

“I told you. I won’t kill you. And I don’t lie.”

They smelled spicy, he thought. Like freshly cut grass, too. He only hesitated an instant before pushing them back by their shoulder. Their skin was warm, warmer than it should have been.

“Get away from my face,” he said gruffly.

Eren sat back on their talons, grinning teasingly. “Am I making you uncomfortable?” They drawled.

“Yes. Yes, you are,” he deadpanned, honest. “Put some fucking clothes on.”

Eren laughed, baring their throat. Jean looked away. “I don’t have any.” They didn’t seem too concerned.

Jean stood up, grumbling. Eren did, too, and he realized for the first time that they were shorter than him. They seemed taller, bigger, bigger than life, bigger than only what you could see.

 _What are you_ , he wanted to ask. _What are you, really?_

But he didn’t because there are truths that are better left unknown.

Instead, he took off his jacket and threw it over Eren’s shoulders. They blinked at him, their golden eyes full of confusion.

“I’m lending it to you. In exchange, you lead me out of the forest.”

Something dark and powerful flashed in Eren’s eyes, and Jean flinched.

Eren licked their lips, smiling sharply. “Are you offering a deal to me?”

Jean swallowed. “I guess I am.”

Eren slipped their arms into the sleeve. It fit them, only a bit too long, falling on their thighs.

They took Jean’s hand. Their own hand was smooth but unexpectedly strong. They pulled Jean after them, walking with ease through the forest. He felt clumsy and awkward.

He almost regretted reaching the end of the woods. He could hear the hum of the highway not far, and he was glad for it. But Eren’s hand was still in his own and with it, promises tainted with fear and excitement.

He refused the jacket when Eren handed it back to him. “Keep it. I’ll come back for it next time.”

“You want to… come back?” Eren hesitated, bemused.

He shrugged. “Sure. Beats being in the house all day.”

Eren beamed at his words, pulling the jacket tighter around them. “Just call my name. I’ll come.”

With that, they disappeared between the trees. He stared after them for a long minute even though he knew it was impossible to even catch a glimpse of them anymore.

His phone vibrated in his hand, reminding him of the outside world.

* * *

 

Jean stepped into the forest again. A bird was happily chirping and the wind seemed to sing as it danced through the tree.

He'd wondered, in the dead of the night, if he had dreamt the encounter with Eren.

 _I could have never made up something as beautiful as Eren_ , he'd thought, then.

It was the kind of thoughts you could only produce at 3 am, when it was too late to be night, but too early to use morning.

Jean's room had seemed a bit surreal in this moment.

The forest had the same feeling, although it was the afternoon, now. The sky was a soft pink, and the woods a calming orange. It was hard to imagine that a creature as dangerous as Eren could live in such a peaceful place.

 _Call my name, and I'll come_ , they had said.

So Jean did.

Their name echoed in the forest as if the trees were whispering it back and forth.

 _Eren, Eren, Eren_ , they murmured.

He waited. The silence was heavy. It had fallen right after he'd called, like the woods were holding their breath.

A flap of wings broke the silence. "What- Fuck!" He cried out when a black bird attacked him. He waved his arms trying to get rid of it.

A growl made him tense.

The crow left him alone, perching itself in a tree.

He turned around.

Slowly walking toward him was a wolf. Its coat was a midnight sky and his eyes a hard steel-gray.

Jean asked himself ironically if he was going to fear for his life every time he stepped in the forest.

He didn't move. He adverted his gaze. He had read somewhere that looking in the eyes of an animal could be considered a challenge.

Suddenly, Eren dropped from the sky, landing gracefully.

Jean didn't dare speak in case he fucked something up. It wouldn't be the first time.

He felt a bit like a damsel in distress.

The wolf and Eren held each other's gaze. The wolf circled around them, slowy and silently. Its muscles rolled under its skin and there was a sort of delicateness to the way it walked. Jean decided that if he had to die horrifyingly eaten by a beast of the woods, an animal with such elegance wasn't too bad.

But Eren bared their teeth, groaning. They looked as untamed and ferocious as the wolf at this instant.

The wolf crouched and jumped on Eren. Jean's yell got stuck in his throat.

They both fell backward but Eren was laughing and Jean watched them as they scuffled on the floor, lost.

The wolf snapped its jaw playfully and Eren giggled. They were sprawled like a starfish on the ground. They looked at Jean upside down and grinned.

"Sorry, the crow who attacked you is Mikasa. She's a bit overprotective."

The aforementioned crow cawed loudly and Eren stuck his tongue out.

He patted the wolf's nose affectionally. "And that's Levi. He doesn't like strangers. He's sorry about scaring you."

Levi huffed which was a surprisingly human gesture on the wolf. Jean didn't need to speak wolf to know what it meant. _You wish_ , his eyes said as he glanced over Jean. He climbed off Eren, rubbing his nose against theirs. Mikasa flew on his back, and they both went away.

Jean didn't even know what to say.

Eren rolled on their belly, still as naked as ever and he tried very hard not to stare at the miles of exposed skin.

"You don't have the jacket," he pointed out.

"Oh yeah, I took it off while playing. I didn't want to tarnish it," Eren explained.

That was surprisingly thoughtful of them. But if Jean was honest, and he was, he would have liked to see more of Eren in his clothes.

He sat on the floor in front of them. "I brought some clothes for you."

Eren tilted their head. "Why? I don't need them."

He sighed. "You may not need them, but I would be very grateful if you could wear them while I'm here."

Eren rose on his knees, grinning teasingly. Jean did his best not to look down. Fortunately, he could see the splattering of tiny green freckles on Eren's nose. He stifled the urge to brush his thumb over them. It was rather distracting.

"Very grateful, really? I'm pretty sure you like when I'm naked," they drawled.

Jean took a deep breath. "You are-" He pushed them back. They fell on the floor, pouting. "Extremely distracting."

They looked torn between being offended and pleased which made them crunch their nose. Jean found it cute.

He took out some clothes from his backpack, and threw them at Eren. They inspected the yellow shorts and the black t-shirt with a pout. "I won't wear shoes," they warned with a childish tone.

"I didn't bring some," he said. "I knew you wouldn't wear them."

Eren looked surprised. "You were right." He pulled the clothes on.

The shorts used to be his sister's. They really didn't hide much. Jean was appreciative. It was easier to ogle at Eren when he was clothed. He didn't feel like he was seeing something he shouldn't have.

He took out a brush from his bag. Eren looked at him curiously. "What's that?"

"A brush."

Eren scowled. "I know what a brush is," they shot back. "I want to know why you have one."

"To brush your hair, obviously."

Eren blinked owlishly, confusion in their golden eyes. They tilted their head to the side, taking in Jean. He didn't move. Sometimes, Eren's gestures were more animal than human. It was the case, now.

They didn't say a word, but they crawled to Jean and sat in front of him, offering their back. Jean took it as an acceptance.

Their hair must have been neatly braided, once, but they were a tangling mess by now. Wild strands were escaping everywhere, flowers were caught in them. He wondered absentmindedly how none of them were wilted yet.

"Tell me if I hurt you," he said.

Eren hummed, but they didn't answer. He started with his fingers, trying to do as much as possible without using the brush first. Eren's hair was thick and heavy in his hand.

It took him a long time to finish disentangling everything. Eren barely spoke, but they sometimes made a little pleased sound as Jean brushed that made his stomach twist.

Once he was done, he admired his work. Eren's hair was cascading down his back, like a river of brown locks.

He watched as they brought their hair over their shoulder, combing their fingers through it. There were frown lines between their eyebrows. He didn't know the reason.

"Why did you do this?" They asked, gesturing to themselves.

Jean opened his mouth. He closed it again. He didn't know how to explain. _Fascination_ , he thought was the word he was looking for. But by now, too much time had passed after the question, and anything he would say would sound untrue.

"You want something from me, " they accused.

It wasn't a question. "I don't," he denied, anyway.

Eren stood up abruptly. Their eyes were like two burning pool of gold. "Don't lie to me," they hissed. "I did not lie. You don't have the right to."

Fear coursed through his veins. Every instinct in his body told him to run, but he couldn't move.

"I'm not," he said.

Eren's eyes flashed unnaturally green for an instant. They threw themselves at Jean, grabbing him around the neck, squeezing.

"Humans are all liars! They took and stole and I was stupid enough to give and always give!"

Their hands dug in his throat. He could hear his blood pumping and he was choking on his breaths. His heart was beating furiously in his chest. He grabbed helplessly at Eren's wrists.

"I- Just-," he panted, uselessly.

Eren bent over him, ferocious, enraged. "Don't waste your breath, _human_ ," they snarled.

He heaved. He was panicking. Terror was etched in every fiber of his being. He was going to die.

His vision was black at the edge and all he could see was Eren. They looked more beast than human, their eyes like fire, their razor teeth bared, their muscles tensed, their hair spilling from the shoulders, falling around Jean. Even now, on the edge of his own death, he couldn't help but think that they were

 _beautiful_.

Suddenly, the pressure on his throat was gone. He gulped air, coughing, greedy. Eren was staring at him, shock on their face. Slowly, he reached for them, but they scrambled to their feet.

"Eren," he called, voice hoarse.

They flinched, and fled.


	2. but say no lies

His mom fussed over him when he eventually came back. She gasped when she saw the purple marks on his neck.

"Jean! What is that?"

He slapped her hand away, panicking for a second. He winced at the pained look on her face. "Sorry," he apologized. "It's nothing."

She opened her mouth to ask further, but he cut her off by leaving. When he looked back, she was watching him with worry in her eyes. He felt a bit guilty about not being able to tell her.

But Eren was a secret he wasn't ready to share. She wouldn't have believed him anyway.

Tata Pauline, his great aunt, was baking a pie, humming softly.

"Oh my," she said when she saw him. "Look at you, you have leaves everywhere."

She gently brushed some twigs from his hair. She didn't mention the bruises on his neck. He was glad for it.

He sat at the table. He watched her take the pie out of the oven. Tata Pauline was a tiny old woman, and she had never married. With the few days he'd already spent at her house, he'd learned to appreciate her. She was always shuffling around her house humming old french songs. She loved baking, and her favorite thing was pie. Time had turned her hair entirely white, but she had one of those ageless faces.  Tata Pauline's age was just  _old_. Even so, her brown eyes were full of mirth that spoke of a time where she must have been beautiful.

"Would you like a piece of pie?"

She put a plate in front of him, not even waiting for the answer. He picked up his fork. The pie was delicious. He wondered if Eren would like it.

He scowled. He wasn't even sure Eren wanted to see him anymore. He glanced toward the forest. He could see it, green and tall, and his heart ached at the thought of it. He wanted to run his hands through Eren's hair, skate his lips along their freckles, burrow his face their warm neck.

Tata Pauline sat in front of him. "You've spent quite a bit of time in the forest," she said. "Fell in love with it?"

Jean glanced at her. She was looking at him with a soft smile. It creased the corners of her brown eyes. There was no demand in them, only the gentle curiosity of an aged lady.

"Something like that," he murmured, thinking of Eren's smile and the twinkling gold of their eyes.

She chuckled. "It is a lovely forest, indeed."

Jean just hummed. Tata Pauline didn't press. She wasn't the type to, which was one of the reasons he liked her. He thought that between all those pies of hers, she must have some secrets, too.

* * *

 

He'd waited anxiously for two days, driving his mom crazy, as he paced around the house. Every time he looked in the direction of the forest, he could feel his stomach drop.

When he closed his eyes, he could sometimes hear Eren's clear laugh. In his dreams, he could touch their amber skin, trace idle patterns on their back. He would wake up with his nose and mind so filled with their spicy smell, he could almost _taste_ it on his tongue.

He was bound to come back.

He walked into the woods. His backpack made clinking noise. Tata Pauline had given him a tupperware containing two pieces of apricot pie. He'd asked and she had only smile with a knowing grin. "In case you want to share."

He'd wondered if she knew more than she let on.

His mother had watched him go with a worried frown. He didn't have the energy to make up a lie and reassure her. He'd left, but the guilt couldn't rival with the anxiousness of never seeing Eren again. He'd laugh bitterly on the porch. He was an addict, and as many addictions are, his looked intoxicating and possibly life-threatening.

He could hear the usual rustle of leaves. The smell of the forest filled his nose, comforting, familiar. He softly traced the ridges in the bark of a tree. It was rough against his palm.

He stepped away and stood tall.

_Call me and I'll come._

"Eren!"

But the name seemed to fall, heavy and useless. None of the trees were alive like they had sounded three days ago. The forest was still.

He bit his lip. He should have known Eren wouldn't want to see him. He had fucked up.

He started to walk back toward to the edge of the forest. He cursed as he tripped on something (again). He caught himself just before falling.

A fox was staring at him, his blue eyes curious and inquisitor.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jean mumbled, more to himself than to the fox.

He watched as it ran a few meters away between the trees. It turned expectantly toward Jean as if waiting for him. Jean didn't move, staring at the fox. It came back, running around his legs, and Jean had to dance around it to avoid stepping on it.

"Oh, for fuck's sake. You want me to follow you," he realized.

The fox only blinked at him. Jean shook his head. He knew he was going to follow. He was too desperate. Or too crazy. Sometimes, the difference wasn't clear.

The fox led him to a cave. It wasn't deep, only two meters of shelter, created by two big stones slumped on each other. Moss had grown on them. He could hear the sound of running water. He peered inside.

Eren was curled up on their side, naked, their head pillowed on his clothes. They were clutching the fabric even in their sleep. Their hair was spilled all around them. They hadn't tied it back. They looked so calm and harmless with their eyelashes brushing their freckled cheeks and the soft whistling noise they made as they breathed. If he hadn't been able to recall the exact pressure of Eren's hands on his throat, he'd probably believe it.

He went to touch Eren's shoulder but hesitated a brush away from their skin. He felt conflicted about touching them when they were defenseless. Or as defenseless can an animal be.

"Eren," he said, instead.

They shot up, eyes wide, growling. Their gaze fell over Jean and they flinched, scrambling to the end of the hole.

"Get out!"

Jean ignored the pang in his heart. He knew Eren probably wouldn't want to see him. He was prepared for it.

It still hurt.

"No."

Eren's eyes widened. Fury was visible in every tense muscle of their body, but they didn't move. They glared at him and stayed away.

Jean took one slow step toward them. They recoiled, their back to the wall. "Don't," they said. There was no bite in it.

He reached for them, gradually, his hand first. Eren looked human, sounded human, but they were not one. He had to be careful. They watched as he came slowly closer, their body stiff, their gaze unwavering. Jean twisted one of their brown locks around his fingers.

"You've gotten your hair all tangled up again," he chastised them softly. "You should let me braid it again."

At once, all tension seemed to leave Eren's body. They slumped against the wall. There was no fury anymore in their eyes. He took a moment to recognize the emotion that was swimming in the gold irises.

It was fear.

Jean realized, in this moment, Eren wasn't angry at him, but at themselves. They had pushed him away because they'd been afraid. Using anger to cover fear was such a human response, it almost made him laugh. Eren was always surprising him. They were captivating.

"What are you doing here?" They asked in a murmur, without meeting his eyes.

"I came to see you."

"I hurt you."

"You did," admitted Jean.

"I could have killed you." Eren was frowning and tugging at their hair.

"The first time we met you told me you wouldn't kill me," Jean reminded him. "I trust you."

He smiled at Eren. They made a little choked sound before throwing their arms around Jean's shoulders. He stayed still, confused. Eren's body was trembling, and he could feel a damp spot forming on his t-shirt. _Crying. Eren is crying_ , he told himself. He took a deep breath and held them. He closed his eyes and let his head fall until his nose was in their hair. Their spicy smell engulfed him, and he kissed the top of their head.

"I'm sorry," Eren sobbed against the skin of his neck. "I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I just- No one had seen me in so long and I was overjoyed that you could but I got... I got scared. What if you only talked to me for my powers? What if you were just going to use me? I didn't mean to get angry, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

Jean peeled them off him, cut them off with a hand on their mouth.

"Stop it, just calm down." He waited for Eren to nod until he removed his hand. "I forgive you, okay? I am fine."

Eren brushed his fingertips on the bruise along his throat. Their eyes were filled with regret. Jean took their hand, lacing their fingers together. "It'll go away," he reassured them.

He stood up, pulling Eren with him, stepping outside of the little cave. He let their hand go, already missing the warmth of it in his own.

"Do you want me to get dressed?" Eren blurted out.

Jean stared at them and thought  _we don't ask a wild beast to wear clothes._ "You don't have to. I don't mind."

Eren seemed a bit hesitant. "Are you-

"Come on, I've got pie," he cut them off.

Eren perked up at that. "Apricot?"

He frowned, surprised. "How did you know?"

Eren shook their head, catching his hand again, and dragged him through the forest. They reached the clearing where they had met the first time. The grass was green, and the sun peaked lazily through the leaves.

They plopped in the grass, looking intently at him. Jean sighed fondly. He sat in front of them and pulled the pie out of his bag. He opened the tupperware under the Eren's eager eye. They'd already taken a bite of their piece before he had even taken his own out of the box.

They closed their eyes and humming contentedly at the taste. Jean almost choked on his own food. He stared resolutely at his lap.

"How do you know it was apricot pie?" He asked, again, to distract himself from Eren's plump lips.

Eren finished chewing. "Apricot pie is my favorite."

Jean stared. It wasn't really an answer, but he didn't think he would actually have one. Not lying was different from telling the truth, and Eren was walking the thin line between them.

"Are you going to braid my hair?" Eren asked, their cheeks full of pie. Jean grabbed a napkin and wiped Eren's face.

"You are a pig," he grumbled. "And yeah."

Eren smiled, soft and a bit timid. "Thanks."

It took Jean by surprise and he stared. He forgot to reply and hid his embarrassment by getting the brush from his bag. He motioned for them to come closer. He watched them fidget before they finally sat cross-legged in front of him.

Jean ran the brush through his brown strands, tugging as gently as he could. He started from the top of Eren's head. He'd never admit it out loud, but he had spent quite some time on Youtube watching videos on how to braid hair.

"You're pretty good," Eren pointed out, after he was done. He'd taken a picture on his phone, to show the result to Eren. They hadn't been surprised to see the phone, and Jean wondered how they kept up they were with technology. He didn't ask.

The sun was already low in the sky, barely streaming through the trees. It gave the clearing an orange color, and Eren's eyes looked a bit softer and darker in the dim light of the evening.

They walked back together. They were in no rush. Eren darted between the trees, spinning around Jean. From time to time, they would turn back to him, throwing him a wide and happy smile, and Jean felt all fluttery inside. It was a nice feeling.

The edge of the woods arrived too fast. He honestly didn't want to leave.

Eren ducked their head, biting their lips, twisting their hands. They mumbled something he didn't catch.

"What?"

Eren blushed. "You called me beautiful," they repeated. He blinked. "When... I-" They cut themselves off, but Jean didn't need to hear the rest of the sentence to know what they were referring to.

He raised a hand to touch the hollow of his throat. The bruises were still there, ugly blue against the paleness of his skin. Even so, there was rarely more honest than a man on his dying bed. What's the point of lying if you know you won't have to face the consequences of the truth? "I did," he confirmed, more confidently than he really felt. His heart was beating hard in his chest.

Eren looked up sharply. "Did you mean it?" They asked, with the intensity they had when they wanted a straight answer.

"Yeah," he breathed softly, because his voice was stuck in his throat. "Someone must have told you before?"

Eren shook their head, staring at the ground. Jean couldn't understand. How could not see how beautiful they were? He thought about the way their entire face lit up when they smiled. How they seemed to laugh with their entire body, wild and innocent. How they seemed to dance more than they walked, happy and careless. Eren was untamed and free and that made them dangerous but also enthralling in the way nature happened to be.

"I haven't talked to humans in a while," Eren said. "Before, they knew who- _what_ I am, and they were afraid of me. I was magnificent, or gorgeous. Beautiful was... it was reserved for delicate things. Harmless things."

Jean was angry. He was angry for Eren, because they weren't. Eren was not the type to be angry for himself.

He grabbed their hand, squeezing. "You are beautiful," he declared. "It doesn't matter that you could kill me in a second. The prettiest things on Earth are often the deadliest."

Eren blushed, gaping. They hid their face behind their hands, but their ears were also red. When Jean glanced down, there were flowers sprouting all around Eren's feet.

"What the hell," he murmured.

Eren peaked through their fingers. "Sorry, I can't help it," they apologized, bashful. "I make flowers bloom when I'm very happy." With that, he stood on his tiptoes and kissed the corner of Jean's mouth.

He didn't even know how to react.

They left a trail of multicolor flowers after them as they ran through the woods. Jean sighed, pressing the heel of his hands to his eyes. His mouth curved by itself and he could feel warmth in his cheeks and his neck.

He picked up a bouquet for his mother.

She asked him where he'd found such pretty flowers. "A beautiful creature gave them to me," he said.

Tata Pauline chuckled at his words, and his mother muttering about how he never told her anything. She winked at him, and Jean didn't need more to understand that she knew.

He promised himself to ask her some questions.


	3. and love unconditionally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally i am done!!!  
> i'd say i'm sorry it took so long, but i'm not. i needed to let time refine this chapter. i like it, and i think if i had written it faster, it wouldn't be as good. it is, however, as long as the two other chapters combined.
> 
> enjoy!

Asking answers from Tata Pauline was not as easy as it sounded. For an old woman, she had an odd tendency to evade any attempt at talking to her quite gracefully. Jean had never realized how quiet she was when she walked. He did now and cursed it. It made it hard to chase her around the house as she danced through doing God knows what.

He eventually caught her in the kitchen. It was already late. The sun was slowly sliding down the horizon. He couldn't help thinking that he had finally managed to corner her because she had _allowed_ him. Finding her sitting at the table with a cup of tea in front of her only served to strengthen the feeling.

He sat in front of her. Tata Pauline was watching him. Her brown eyes seemed to see through him. Her eyes had always been the youngest part of her. They had never quite fit to her face. Too young. Otherworldly, maybe. He was not sure what word could fit.

"You have questions," she said in French. She always talked French when she had important things to tell.

"You know about Eren." French felt foreign on his tongue, like a taste you knew but couldn't remember from where. He supposed it fit. He wasn't used to talking about Eren aloud either.

"I do," Tata Pauline confirmed. "But I will not talk about them." Jean's hands gripped the edge of the table. He could feel his frustration building up. He willed himself to stay calm. "Not yet," she continued. Betrayed, also. Tata Pauline had always been a distant memory in his mind. Before coming to France, she'd been a handful of half-remembered sensations. The smell of jasmine in his nose when she kissed him. The way the light shone on her white hair. The sound of her chopping apples.

Now, she was sitting in front of him with the keys to truths he was desperate to know. "Why?" He asked. There was nothing else he could say at this moment.

"Because time has come for you to know everything, and for that, I need to start at the beginning. Eren is not the beginning," she concluded as if it made perfect sense.

He reckoned she did. It was a perfectly logical explanation. It made him even angrier. He wanted to grab her cup of coffee and smash it on the floor.

He laughed, instead. It was bitter. "Alright. Let's start with the beginning, then."

Smoke from the cup unfurled in front of Tata Pauline's face. Her eyes looked black in the darkness. "You don't like to lie."

"I don't see what it has to do with anything," he spat.

Her fingers followed the rim of the mug, slowly. Her eyes were impossibly dark, and Jean couldn't make the difference between her iris and the rest anymore. He wasn't sure it was only a trick of the light.

"Everything," she eventually said. "Fairies can't lie."

He could have scoffed and ignored her. He could have said fairies did not exist. But he'd spent too much time with Eren to dismiss the idea.

"I'm not a fairy," he settled for.

"No you aren't," she confirmed. "But you have just enough fae blood to be uncomfortable with lying."

"What?"

Tata Pauline chuckled. She seemed amused by his confusion. He was not. "You are a quarter. Your grandmother was one-"

"Wait, wait," he blurted out. "My grandmother was your sister. Does that mean you are a fairy, too?"

She didn't answer. Instead, her eyes, who had been steadily darkening as time passed, turned completely black. It was like looking into two obsidian gems. Jean shivered. For an unsettling instant, his great-aunt was not an old soft woman anymore. She had looked younger, her smile sharp, her face a mask of indifference. She had looked like a warrior. Like a demon.

But she was only the gentle pie-loving old lady he'd always known. He felt his muscles slowly unclench. He'd been scared. He hadn't felt the same way with Eren. Eren brought the kind of afraid you got from watching a panther walk toward you. It was mixed with a sort of fascination, beauty. This, this had been the kind of afraid that made you want to kneel. It had been pure fear. Hard, cold, raw.

"Please, never do that again," he breathed. "I don't- I like you as you are."

Tata Pauline sent her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I forget the effect I have on humans."

"Yeah, well you shouldn't. No offense, you are scary as fuck."

"None taken."

There was a lull.

He thought about she had said. About the lying. He'd always been quite honest. He could lie, but he'd always preferred to dance around the truth instead. He had never really seen the point of 'white lies'. He supposed it made sense now.

"So, my father was a fairy," he ventured.

"Your father was half."

Jean had never met his father. He'd never really asked himself why. His mother didn't hide anything, but there wasn't much to tell. He wondered if this was the reason. "Did he leave because of that?"

"He did. Do you want to know why?"

He shook his head. Not really. He'd never known him, it wouldn't change anything.

"Mom is human, right?"

She nodded.

Silence fell. His eyes drifted by themselves to the dark form of the forest. There was only one question to ask. "Eren," he said. More was not needed, Tata Pauline understood.

"They are not part of the Fair Folk."

"They can lie," Jean countered.

"They could," she corrected. "But they don't. They won't. Eren is... Eren is part of Nature. They _are_ Nature. They won't lie because the idea of lying would never occur to them. Nature can hide, but can't lie. I am not sure they even understand the concept of lying."

Jean thought about the way Eren had snarled. _Humans are all liars_ , they'd accused. He scoffed. "They understand all right."

She looked a bit sad for a moment. "I suppose they do."

"How do you know them?"

It was easier now, to talk. Truths had been uncovered. They were crazy, impossible, but they made sense. They weren't between them anymore.

"We fought." It wasn't what he had expected. "Humans always liked war. They are just more skilled at it now. They decided fairies were a threat." She laughed. "Well, they were not wrong. We could have decimated them if they hadn't enrolled ― _forced_ ― creatures like Eren to fight for them."

Anger rose inside of him. "What did they offer them in exchange?"

Tata Pauline shook her head. "You'll have to ask them."

"You knew their favorite pie," he pointed out.

"We weren't enemies. We were just on different sides," she explained, with a little frown. "We had a few dinners together."

He twisted his hands. "How long ago was that?"

"A long time ago. Centuries."

"They said they haven't talked to anyone for a long time. Why didn't you go back to see them?"

"The Fair Folk doesn't like to admit weaknesses," she said. It wasn't an answer, but she stood up, put her cup in the sink. It was the end of the conversation.

He watched her as she shuffled to the kitchen door. "Goodnight, Jean," she wished him, her back to him.

He kept silent.

* * *

He spent a long time staring at the moon in his window. It was already very late when he managed to fall asleep. Eren's smile was in his mind.

* * *

Eren was talking with a crow ― Mikasa, he remembered ― when he found them the next morning. Though talking was maybe a bit overstating. It was a strange mixed of clinking and chirping.

Eren's face lit up when they saw Jean. His heart was in his throat. He loved the way their eyes looked like burning gold. "You knew I'm a fairy," he blurted out. "I mean, that I have fairy blood."

Eren stilled. Mikasa huffed. Or it sounded like a huff. You couldn't be really sure with a crow. She flew away.

Eren looked pained. They sat crossed legs on the grass, looking up to Jean. "I knew," they admitted. "Normal ― pure ― humans, can't see me." Jean hums. Eren stared at their feet, picking at a grass blade. "Sorry, should I have told you?"

"No, no it's fine." Jean shook his head, sending them a small smile.

Eren visibly relaxed. "You know, being a fairy has some advantages."

"I'm still waiting on them," Jean muttered, unable to keep sarcasm out of his voice. Oh, well, being cynical had always been his trademark.

"I'll help," Eren offered. "Take off your shoes."

Jean glanced at them. "Why?"

"To feel the forest," Eren said as if it was obvious. It probably was, to them. "It'd be even better if you were naked but..."

"Yeah... No," Jean confirmed that he was indeed not about to get naked in the middle of the woods. "Shoes are okay, though."

Eren beamed at him and Jean had to ignore the flurry of butterflies in his stomach.

He slipped off his shoes and let his feet rest in the grass. "Am I supposed to feel something?" He joked.

Eren looked absolutely offended ("Yes!") but there was an amused glint in their eyes. "I'll teach you."

They shuffled in front of him, sitting on their heels, and took Jean's hands. Their thumbs drew slow circles on the back. They smiled, soft and encouraging. Jean was pretty sure angels were swooning up there, somewhere. They instructed Jean to close their eyes.

Their hands were unmistakably male, but they were warm and unmarked in his own, and he resisted the urge to tighten his grip on them.

"Listen to the sound of my voice," Eren whispered. "I want you to feel the wind on your skin. Feel its fingers on your arms, on your cheeks, its laughter in your ears."

And amazingly he could. It was lazy and a bit playful. It brushed the back of his neck, unhurried. It darted between the strands of his hair. It blew on his lips in a fluttering kiss.

"Good," Eren praised him. "Can you feel the pulse of the earth? Deep, slow and steady, something between consciousness and sleep."

Their voice was filled with the flutter of leaves, the laughs of the forest spirits, the swarm of the millions of creatures living in the woods.

He became painfully aware of their presence. Of the warmth of them so close to him, the steadiness of their hands in his own, their regular breath barely noticeable, their spicy smell.

"I can't," he admitted. His head was too full of them. It was dizzying.

"It's okay," Eren murmured. They gently entangled their hands. "I want you to follow my fingers, instead."

They trailed along his wrists, his arms. They raised goosebumps in their path. They stopped as they reached his sleeves and started again at his neck. They traced his collarbone. They paused a moment at his pulse. Jean's breath hitched. Thumbs slid along the angle of his jaw. One of them intimately drew the curve of his mouth.

There was an instant of stillness. Eren's fingers were like fire on his lips. The forest seemed to be holding its breath.

Eren kissed him.

It was barely a kiss, to be honest. A press of lips against his own. Jean still felt like his heart would burst out of his chest. He was almost certain he forgot to breathe for a couple of seconds.

He opened his eyes to see Eren blushing, the red even visible over the darkness of their skin. They were fidgeting.

"Oh," Jean breathed.

"Sorry!" They blurted out. "I- I shouldn't have done that. I'm-"

"Shut up," he cut them off.

He grabbed them by the back of the neck and smashed their mouths together. Eren made a pained sound and Jean winced but he could feel their wide smile against his lips.

It was nothing like he'd imagined but it was real and that made it hundred times better than any fantasy.

Eren pushed against him. Jean, surprised, fell backward, dragging both of them down. They laughed against each other's mouth, warm and happy. Eren tasted like rainwater. To be honest, Jean had never tasted rainwater, but he thought this was how it was supposed to taste like.

Their lips slid along each other, wet and pliant. Eren's body on him was a pleasant weight. His fingers trailed down their back, following the curve of their spine. They giggled as he skimmed over their sides. "That tickles," they complained against his lips.

Jean swallowed their laugh in another kiss.

"You really are beautiful," he marveled, tucking back a strand of hair behind their ear.

Eren blushed, and hid their face in his throat. "Stop it," they ordered, but their voice was soft. Jean rested his hands on the small of their back. He could feel their body going up and down with their respiration. It was comforting. Eren was comforting.

When he glanced to the side, he spotted with amusement violets popping out of the grass. "Don't look," ordered Eren. The brush of their lips on his neck stirred something in his stomach. He carefully ignored it.

"I'm not looking," Jean denied.

"Liar," Eren said.

He tensed. His breath hitched. Eren sat up on his belly. They looked at him, an eyebrow raised. "What's the matter?" Jean shook his head. Eren stared for a bit more. Confusion was visible on their face. They were so expressive, Jean had no problem seeing when they finally understood. He evaded their gaze. "Oh," they breathed. "It's not-" They bit their lip. They scowled, apparently displeased. "It wasn't- It didn't _matter_. It's not the same." They tugged at the end of their braid, the way they did when they were upset or nervous.

"I know, Eren," he reassured them, "I just- It wasn't really a lie, anyway. I don't know why I... did that."

Eren sighed, and slowly climbed off Jean. They looked hesitant and maybe a bit sad. "I'm sorry... I scared you last time, didn't I?"

Jean sat up. "No, no!" He assured. "Well, you did scare me, but I'm not-" He cut himself off. It would be a lie to say he wasn't afraid anymore. And he had promised himself he would not lie to Eren anymore.

"You don't realize what I am capable of," Eren said. "You don't know what I am."

"You haven't told me."

"I am scared you'll leave if I do tell you," they revealed. They stared at the ground. "I like... being with you."

Jean took their hand. "What are you, Eren? Show me, and I'll prove you I won't leave." Their golden eyes passed on him for an instant. Eren raised a hand and slowly traced his lips. They followed the bridge of his nose, then smoothed his eyebrows. "What are you doing?" He asked. They brushed his hair back.

"Remembering," they murmured. Jean didn't dare move. "In case you decide you don't want to see me anymore."

"I won't."

Eren brushed their lips together. The smell of wild roses entered his nose. They were tangled in Eren's hair, small and pink. He wanted to reach for them and tuck them under his chin. Tell them it didn't matter even though it _did_. He didn't. They had to do it. Eren took a deep breath, closing their eyes. When they opened them again, they were not the liquid gold Jean had gotten used to, but impossibly green, like the bottom of a glass of absinthe.

"I'm ready," they said.

They didn't move. Their legs crossed, their hand on the earth, they looked a bit like a god. Maybe it was what they were, Jean realized. Without meaning to, he could _feel_ the forest answer to Eren's call. The whispering trees grew louder and louder and _louder_ until Jean could not hear anything else.

_wake up wake up wake up_

They were calling each other and Jean watched, afraid and mesmerized as they seemed to bend toward Eren. The forest was coming out of its sleep and it was terrifying.

Crows flew away, their wings brushing Jean as they fled away. A group of deer ran a few meters away. White flowers filled the clearing. They came out of the grass around Eren and spread, relentless, like a wave.

_wake up wake up wake up_

Eren stood and vines emerged from the earth all around them. They took a step toward Jean and the vines followed like tentacles behind them.

His heart was pounding. He was reminded of their first meeting. This was how he had felt then. Terrified, exhilarated. In front of him, in all their splendor, was not standing a human. It was a creature of the forest, it was...

It was Eren. It was everything they were. Their power was part of them, like their freckles or their full-body laugh.

" **Do you see, now?** " They asked. Their voice was not alone anymore. There were thousands of other voices. Every tree, every plant, every consciousness of the woods was talking through them, _with_ them. They were one. " **I am an Elemental. I am not part of the forest. I _am_ the forest.** "

Tata Pauline had said that, Jean remembered. She had told him, _they are Nature_.

Jean jumped, fear gripping him when leaves brushed against cheeks. Eren's eyes, through the poisonous green, were soft. The vines gently encircled his wrist. He could easily get away. This was a question. Trust was what Eren asked. He forced himself to stay still as vines crept along his legs, his arms. They stopped there, on his forearms, resting on his thighs. He raised towards Eren in a challenge. _I am not afraid._

Eren kneeled in front of him. Their hand came to rest against his chest. "Your heart is beating fast," they said. Their voice was back to normal. Jean trailed a finger along the vines. Eren frowned.

"I've rarely been as scared of someone as I am by you," Jean admitted, "I think I just fell for you a bit more, though."

Eren kissed him. It was strange, feeling the vines slid down his arms and legs. He pulled Eren towards him, and they slid on his lap. He forgot to breathe for a moment. He let himself be pushed against the grass, and Eren slid their hands in his, holding them to the floor. The trees quieted around them. Eren pulled back a bit and opened their eyes. Jean appreciated the return of their warm gold.

"You know, I think my great aunt would like to see you," he said, "Also, I'd like to present you to my mom."

All the white flowers turned pink suddenly. "Me?" Eren asked, in disbelief.

"Who else, dumbass?" Jean snickered.

Eren tangled their finger in the end of their braid. They were nervous. "Isn't it a bit early? I mean, I'm not really used to human convention now, but... We haven't known each other for long."

Jean laughed. "Human convention," he repeated. "Look at you, being all considerate and shit."

Eren ducked their head. "I don't know. I just... Haven't left in quite some time."

Jean took their hand. "Just dinner. Wait," he frowned, "you do eat, right?" Eren laughed.

"Jean, you saw me eat the pie last time," they reminded him, rolling their eyes.

"Oh, right, I forgot."

* * *

Dinner had started on a rocky path.

His mom almost dropped the book she had been holding when she saw Eren. They were wearing the shorts and one of the t-shirts Jean had brought them a few days before. He hadn't offered them a pair of shoes. He knew Eren would have never have accepted them.

He guessed spending the last week with Eren had made him used to their unsettling presence.

"Hey Mom," he greeted her awkwardly. "Do you mind if I invite Eren for dinner?" His mom stared at them for a moment too long. Her mouth was slightly parted in surprise, her brown eyes wide. Eren smiled, extending their hand, and she took a reflexive step backward.

Jean felt the moment of tension like a palpable thing between all of them. He hadn't realized his mom, even though she was human, would feel threaten by Eren. He supposed it made sense. Being weary of Eren was survival instincts, of sort.

She shook her head and smiled back. It looked a bit forced, but Jean appreciated the effort. "Nice to meet you, Eren. I'm Valérie."

"Tata Pauline and Eren know each other," Jean said, to lighten the mood. "That's why I thought it would be a good idea."

"Oh, really," his mom said, absentmindedly, looking at Eren up and down. She was probably wondering how they had met when Eren looked like a young man with an atrocious fashion sense, and Tata Pauline was, for all intent and purpose, an old woman with a rather good idea of how to dress to impress.

"I'm going to get her so that they can... catch up." He grinned awkwardly. His mom nodded. She seemed a bit dazed.

Jean led Eren to the kitchen. As usual Tata Pauline was preparing a pie. It was a salty one, this time. Goat's cheese and spinach seemed like a weird combination, but Jean loved it.

"Aren't you cold, walking bare feet?" She asked, not even turning around.

"I've walked on colder," Eren answered back.

Finally, she looked at them. "It is nice to see you, Eren. You haven't scared my niece too much, I hope."

Eren's smile was affectionate. "I did my best. I'm not sure I succeeded."

"You definitely did not," Jean grumbled.

Tata Pauline chuckled. "She'll get over it," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "I gotta tell you, Eren, you haven't changed one bit."

Eren laughed. Jean watched with wonder. _God_ , he loved when Eren laughed. Their shoulders shook, their eyes lit up and small wrinkles appeared at the corner of their eyes. He caught Tata Pauline's gaze on him. He flushed. He wasn't sure what face he had done, but he was quite certain it had been embarrassing.

"I'd like to say the same for you, Pauline," Eren teased. "But it seems like you've adopted a rather... surprising glamor."

Dinner was a funny affair. Eren and Tata Pauline seemed to know so much about each other. They'd sometimes look at one another and smile, hiding their laugh behind their respective hand. It happened a lot when his mom tried to ask questions to Eren. _What do you study, Eren_ , a laugh, _do you work anywhere_ , a laugh, ("A florist shop," Tata Pauline had said.).

He spent most of his time watching Eren with a fond look. Tata Pauline caught him and winked. He ducked his head to hide his blush.

* * *

It was already late when they climbed to his room. The only light came from the moon, soft and alike glittering jewels. Eren steps inside it, looking like a dream. Jean wondered how this being made of magic could be interested in him, who was still just human.

They sat on the edge of the window, one leg hanging outside. Jean joined them, looking down. It wasn't very high. "Will you miss me when you go?" They asked out of the blue.

Jean frowned. "What do you mean?"

They twisted a strand of hair around their finger. It was a nervous gesture, and so very human of them. "I'm not stupid. I know you are leaving. You don't live here."

Jean felt shame. He'd purposefully put back this conversation but he'd hurt Eren in the process. "Sorry," he apologized, not looking at them. "I didn't want to hide it from you, I just... As long as I didn't really think about it, it wasn't really real, you know?"

Eren shook their head. "I don't really get it but... it's okay. I understand you had your reasons." They hesitated for a moment, then took Jean's hand. They slipped something in, smooth and round against the palm of his hands. Jean opened his fingers to discover a seed. "Water," they said. He only looked at them in confusion. "Put it in water. It'll make a flower." They picked one of the wild roses tangled in their hair. "Like one of these. It won't wilt."

Jean rolled the seed between his fingers in wonder. He'd always thought they were a bit magic. How could something as beautiful and tall as a tree erupt from this tiny little thing? He leaned forward and kissed Eren chastely. "Thank you," he breathed against their lips.

He stood up and put it away in a small box where a few other precious things were. Eren smiled at him, a bit shy. Their eyes were a dim gold, the color of the lazy sun at the end of the day. Their skin, brown and warm, was so inviting. Their head was resting on their bent knee. They looked relaxed and comfortable and Jean never wanted to be separated from them. His heart hurt in his chest thinking about it. Eren was a world, a universe, and Jean wished he'd never had to leave.

"Stay," he pushed out, through his heartache. "Tonight, stay with me."

Eren blushed a bit but nodded. "Okay," they murmured. The night was so silent, they didn't need to speak louder. Jean couldn't resist kissing them. They melted against his lips, their arms around his neck. They split apart, breathing in each other's air.

Gently, Jean pulled them to the bed. They fell upon it purposefully, bringing Jean down with them. He just barely avoided falling over them and rolled on the bed. Eren giggled, apparently pleased with themselves. Jean, hit with a wave of affection, peppered kisses all over their faces. Their t-shirt had ridden up, exposing a bit of their toned belly. "Does the clothes bother you?" He asked.

Eren cocked an eyebrow, still smiling. "Are you trying to get me naked, Jean Kirschstein?" They challenged.

"I have your best interests at heart, but I may have some ulterior motives." Jean grinned and Eren smacked him on the arm. They grabbed the end of his own t-shirt. "You first," they ordered.

Jean raised his arms obediently. Eren had to rise up on their knees to pull it along his arms. They threw it on the floor and took theirs off. Jean dropped a few kisses on their shoulder on the way. Eren smoothed his hair back, their lips ghosting along his hairline. Jean's fingers followed the knobs of Eren's spine until he reached their shorts. He pushed them passed Eren's hips, unsurprised to see they weren't wearing anything underneath. To be honest, he would have been surprised if they were.

Eren pushed him against the bed, their tongue at the corner of their lips. They grabbed his jeans, determination on their face. "I am getting _you_ naked," they warned him.

Eren pulled. His jeans crumpled the floor with a loud thumb: his belt. Eren was on their knees between Jean's legs. Slowly, almost reverently, their fingers drew circles around his right ankle. Their eyes followed their fingertips. Jean tried not to move as they mapped his legs from the ankles to his knees.

Then, their hands smoothed over his hips. They followed the sharp bones there. They were warm and steady around his waist. Jean was a bit mesmerized by the stark contrast between the color of their skin. They slid along his side, dipping in the angles of his torso, bumping against the slight raise of his ribs. It tickled. He had to muffle a laugh behind his hand. With their index, they patiently traced his collarbone. They wrapped their hands around his throat. They weren't pressing. Their thumbs drew the angle of his jaw.

Finally, they reached his face. Eren met his eyes. They seemed dark and unfathomable. Eren brushed a kiss against his brow. "You are beautiful," they murmured as if it was a secret. Maybe it was. The way the words seemed carefully pronounced, like pearls on his tongue gave them a feeling of treasure. Jean didn't know what to do with them.

Eren laid down next to Jean. They rolled on their side and threw a leg over his waist. Like this Jean could tuck his head in their neck. He kissed the skin there, and they tightened the arm around his shoulder. He closed his eyes. He was warm and safe in Eren's grip. He could hear their heart, steady and slow, too slow to be a human heartbeat.

He dreamt of soft summer days under the shade of trees, of sunflowers and laughter.

* * *

 Jean readjusted his bag on his shoulders. The forest was standing strong and inviting in front of him. It was so different from two weeks ago, the first time he'd come.

"Come on, Jean, you can do it," he muttered to himself.

"Do what?" Asked Eren, appearing suddenly.

Jean let out a shout, jumping back. Eren laughed. He wanted to carve the sound in his mind, to be sure he'd never forget it. "Fuck, you scared me!"

"Sorry," they apologized. It didn't sound very genuine. They tilted their head to the side. "So, what do you need to do?"

Jean patted his pocket to check it was still there. "Well, you know I'm... leaving." He winced a bit. It could have probably found a better way to say it. "I- I wanted to give you this." He gave his gift to Eren.

They took it, turning it around in their hands. "A phone?

He left out a sigh of relief. "At least, you know what this is." Eren raised an eyebrow, clearly offended. "I didn't live under a rock."

"A forest's not a far stretch," Jean teased. "But let's go back to the phone. You know how to use it, right?" Eren nodded.

"Does that mean I can call you anytime?" They asked, an interesting glint in their eyes.

Jean grinned. "Yes, it does." Eren beamed, throwing their arms around his waist, holding tight. With a force Jean didn't expect (God knows why, he knew some of the things Eren was capable of doing) Eren picked him up and twirled him around. "Eren!" He shouted. "Put me the fuck down!"

They did, grabbing his face, and kissing him hard. Jean sort of dissolved against them. They let him back on the floor, their arms loosely looped around his waist. "I'm going to miss you so much," they said, "but that makes it better."

Jean smiled, a bit bittersweet. "That was the idea."

"Hey," Eren called his name. Their voice was soft and inviting. Jean looked down into their golden eyes. They ran their fingers through his hair. Jean leaned in their hand, kissed their palm. "It'll be okay," Eren promised.

Jean could feel the tears coming to his eyes. He hid his face in Eren's neck, trying, and failing, not to cry. They stroked his hair, murmuring soft words in his ear. They stayed there, swaying to inexistent music, soaking in each other.

His phone eventually rang, warning him it was time to go. Eren wiped his tears with their thumbs and kissed him chastely. Jean managed to not cry again, holding onto their hand until the very edge of the woods. Eren had to push him, mouthing 'go' for him to finally leave.

He broke back into tears in the train when he unlocked his phone, finding a message from Eren.

_Come back to me when you can._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've written quite a lot this past week, and it was essentially with [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2bjqrRbNW4) as background. this chapter was basically jean going "mark me down as scared and horny"
> 
> i'm leaving the ending that way, open, i like it like this.
> 
> you can join me on my [tumblr](http://elyteracy.tumblr.com)


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